We’ve all been there.
We’ve all felt the suddenness of the stop.
We’ve all been to rock bottom.
The past few days have certainly proved to be trying spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and even physically. In the brunt of the hectic lifestyle I have chosen to live I realized that I had nothing left. I had no strength. I had no motivation. I had no desire.
The only thing that I had was exhaustion.
The circumstances of my plummet are of no value to dissect but what happened when I hit the floor is. You see, for a long time now I have pushed myself to the very limit of my human capabilities. For the longest time I thought I was strong enough to do this myself. I may not have realized it in my mind but the evidence is stacked against me. My current relapse into anxiety has brought me back to square 1 in this fight for perspective. My tendency (and if I may be so bold to say, everyone’s tendency) at rock bottom is to lay and weep. It’s to reminisce on the wonders of the future and how long I would stay here. My tendency is not to act but rather to grovel. Sometimes the pain of falling is too much to bear. Sometimes moving seems too much to ask for. Plus, who in their right mind wants to venture into the darkness with no flashlight?
Regardless of my feeble disposition, the grace of God stepped into my world and floored me with this simple, yet humbling truth.
I am the rock at the bottom
So, in all retrospect God, in His almighty sovereignty, has brought me to this low point. He has lead me to the end of myself to make me realize that He is at the end of myself. He is the rock at the bottom of the deep ocean. He is the way out of the dark tunnel. He is the Gracious Redeemer of my circumstances.
“The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”
Whom shall I fear?
“When the ground beneath my feet gives way
And I hear the sound of crashing waves
and all my world is washing out to see,
I’m hidden safe in the God who never moves
Holding fast to the promise of the truth
That You are holding tighter still to me,
The Rock won’t move and His word is strong
The Rock won’t move and His love can’t be undone”
-Vertical Church Band