Confessions

My lovely friends it’s Thursday.

Do you know what that means?

Tomorrow is Friday.

That then also means that I have a much more favorable disposition towards existing today.

Since I’m in such a “jovial” mood I decided to participate in a social media fad known as “Throwback Thursday”. If you have an instagram, facebook, or any form of social media really, you will have seen the hashtag #tbt pop up on Thursdays accompanied by a vintage picture. How and when this started I’m not sure but it’s one of the few things that I love about the interwebs. It’s fun to participate and it gives your “followers” a chance to look back at the “old” you. I’ve taken part in it many a time but today I wanted to take it a step further…I wanted to extend my #tbt in to my writing!

Let the memories flow!

Let me take a brief moment to clarify something to those who may not know: I’m a male. Having covered that I need to also clarify that I’ve had crushes on girls from the time I was able to breathe (Overstatement? Ask my family). Growing up was all about joining in with my little buddies and chasing poor, unsuspecting girls through the church parking lot. It was all about finding out if cutie little susie down the street liked you back. It was a glorious world full of wonder and excitement.

Then one day…

The third grade proved to be a difficult year for me. It’s pretty crazy because I still remember the major events of my third grade year. I attended Kathleen Elementary School with Ms. Maddock; a short, spry, older lady with the propensity to be sweet one second but stern the next. Overall, she was a great teacher!

I, on the other hand, was not a great student. I’m not too entirely sure what got in to me that year but I will tell you who did: A girl named India. From the first time my boyish person laid eyes on her I was hooked! I was always with her, trying to make her laugh, and doing anything that I possibly could to impress my newfound love. It’s sad to say but due to my undying commitment to marrying this girl, my grades suffered and so did my attitude. I can’t tell you how many times I got grounded for lying to my teachers and to my parents about behavioral issues at school.

Ms. Maddock used a “colored bear” correctional system. We all started out with a blue bear in the morning and if we ever got in to trouble during the day the color of the bear would change (Blue-Yellow-Red). At the end of the day Ms. Maddock would take our agendas and stamp the appropriate colored bear in them. We would then be tasked with taking home the agenda, showing it to our parents, and having them sign it. My little devious heart found a loophole…I would “accidentally” tear out the page of my agenda with the colored bear in it and then lie, claiming I “lost it”. I thought I was a genius.

While I was evading correctional institutions I was still pursuing Ms. India. I wrote her a note one day that said, “Do you like me? Check YES or NO”. I showed it to her and she covered up the “NO” box. My optimistic, unaware heart took that to mean that yes! She really did like me! I was so excited! I had finally obtained that which I had pursued for so long. Poor girl.

Little did I know that I was soon to be betrayed.

One day I was particularly bad in class and that ultimately resulted in my little blue bear transitioning to the dreaded “yellow”. I knew that at the end of the day Ms. Maddock would come around and ask for my agenda so I started searching for a solution. Could I lie? Could I throw my agenda in the trash without her seeing? How far was home from here?

My efforts to reach a conclusion failed and the time had drawn near. I was so disappointed in myself. I knew that the love of my 6 year old soul would be too. I was crushed.

Ms. Maddock made her way around to me, asked me for my agenda, and I lied. I panicked! I told her that I left it at home. Everything seemed to be going fine. Ms. Maddock shook her head and started walking away…

Then, out of the blue, the sparkle in my eye, the pitter patter of my boyish heart, the effervescence of love in my life perked up from across the room…

“No he didn’t! I saw him pull it out earlier today! He’s lying!”

Utter betrayal.

Ms. Maddock turned to look at me, I glared at India with all of the heartbroken passion that I could, and turned my agenda in to my teacher. My heart was pounding with fear and anger. Ms. Maddock’s was full of disappointment. India? Oh, she was full of righteous contempt. Evil little girl.

To make a long story shorter, my teacher called home and told my parents what had happened that day. Hell-fire rained down upon my devilish heart and I was never the same ever again.

I’ve also not been able to trust girls ever since that day.

India moved on with her life while I was left to pick up the pieces of utter dismay. Needless to say, I got over it. We moved on. I found other girls to chase and pester, she found other people to tattle on.

Life was good.

The End.

Happy throwback Thursday!