Confessions

Of being the stepping stone

That everyone uses to make their point known

They’re building a home held up by my bones

The curtains tapered with their jokes sewn

On the hem, my perceived weaknesses are shown

They keep laughing at my groans

As they climb to make their home on a feeble throne

/God, I’m tired

Of the steady hum of anxiety coursing through my veins

Every day it’s the same

I wake up, put on a good face, face the same disdain

What I do is never enough, It all feels vain

The money disappears, the questions remain

Never with my kids enough, the bills need paid

They’ll never be this young again, that’s why I’m afraid

/God, I’m tired

Of the same old sin fighting for its place

Inside my heart, constantly making its case

I’m an anxious wreck, in need of your grace

I’m running 90 miles an hour, but staying in place

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted to syncopate all of this

/God, I’m tired

Of watching my enemies win

Yes, I said my enemies..What? They’re certainly not my friends

I’m the kite in the sky, and these fools are the wind

Just when you think the storm is over, here they come again

They make up stories, they believe what’s convenient

Here I go out of rhythm and rhyme again

Put an end to their sin and free this innocent soul from their scheming

/God, I’m tired

Of knowing you’re enough but living as though I could be

Settle my soul and convince my anxiety that you see me

God, I’m tired but I know that you can meet me

Wait on the Lord, rise up on the wings…sounds easy

It’s excruciating waiting, You must know the feeling

I put my hurts, my questions, my fears out here freely

You’re the only one worthy of trusting completely

/

Please let me sleep

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You are loved.

You are valued.