There are so many days when I wonder if I’ll ever be the same as I used to be.
I used to be able to think clearly.
I used to be able to trust people enough to let them in.
I used to be able to care and not worry.
Now I can’t.
There are so many mornings that I’ve woken up in recent weeks with anxiety attacks about anything and everything. Honestly, I can’t control it. I have no say over whether or not I can control it. It just is the way it is.
It all started years ago and years ago was the last time I could actually give my heart away without expecting it back in pieces. Can I ever be like that again? I honestly doubt it. I would love to have a wife on day…a family but Im honestly afraid that because of this “anxiety” I never will.
I just want to be free from my head.
I’m honestly ok with being single at this point in my life…I prefer it. But when some mornings are full of irrational fears and physical pain it becomes a little too much.
Here’s to healing.