This is No Place for a Vagabond

Depression is a funny thing, isn’t it?

If, like me, you have had any sort of run in with this illness then you will know my above statement is that of pure sarcasm. Depression is a thief. It comes when you are least expecting it, sometimes in the most unlikely of ways, and it has the power to rob you of any piece of joy you may have. It comes quickly and overstays its welcome. It is the houseguest that won’t sit still and talks far too much.

Let’s be honest with ourselves; the majority of people within our lives don’t know how to handle us. Do not mistake me, I believe they want to know (so long as they are loving, genuine people) but the most common arrangement I hear from our comforters is that they are far too often at a loss. They simply don’t know how to address us, they don’t know how to help us, and they develop what I like to call “Diarrhea mouth”. Simply put, their words spill out of their mouths faster than they can manage to catch a breath. That is not to say that it is ill intentioned. I also do not want to seem like I am coming across as brash towards those who most desperately want to help us. I’m just saying there really isn’t much anyone can do.

What can you honestly do to cease a wandering mind? How is it that one stops feeling sad when sadness is all they know? When the anxiety attacks you may as well batten down the hatches because it’s going to be a long and brutal battle. The shaking…heavy breathing…the tight chest. These are just but a few of the things that happen when these devils strike. Dare I mention the incessant onslaught of the mind against ourselves? I have met no worse an enemy than my own heart. It lies, steals, and indicts. I am my own worst enemy.

Many days I wonder why I have to struggle with this. Many days I wish I could breathe easy, trust quickly, and love with all of my heart but I am stricken with a deep mistrust. It doesn’t take much for something to set my mind off and if I’m not careful I can all too quickly get lost in the hopeless escapade of finding my way out of the dark. Amidst such questioning I quickly find that my God is faithful. I struggle with what I do because I am being stretched, grown, and tried.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”

James 1:2-3

Yes, life is hard. Yes, storms will come and go. Through it all God is faithful. I can also say that (no matter what you believe) He loves you. He knows your pain and there is hope in your darkness. I say these things because in a world where it feels like no one cares I want you to know that I care for you. I have not stood in your shoes but we walk the same path. You are not alone.

Don’t lose hope.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28

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