Yes, my title is intentional. No, I’m not illiterate or awful at spelling. Yes, it’s from a movie.
I went to see Poltergeist at a local $2.50 theatre tonight and I noticed someone’s tattoo in the concession line that got me thinking. Was I going to get a slushee and popcorn or a regular drink and popcorn? I mean, these decisions only come about once a week for me so I had to make the right one. You understand, right? Right?
So you may be wondering why it was the tattoo that got me thinking (I so wish someone had a tattoo of a popcorn bucket with a slushee)? This person’s tattoo said “No regrets, only lessons”. Pretty profound, huh? I mean it’s definitely a great point of view to have. I’m having a hard time latching on to it though for a few reasons (regrets) running through my mind. *See below list*
1.) Any meal spent at a Long John Silver’s (Why must you be so good and greasy?!) #ragrets
2.) That one time where I launched myself over a fence and ate cold, hard dirt trying to impress a girl. (She never liked me) #ragrets
3.) When I was in South Korea I let a few of the teenage girls write a Korean word on my face. Turns out it meant “Stupid” in English. #ragrets
4.) Sitting in the Burger King parking lot at the age of 10 I decided it’d be okay to let loose a quick fart. That “quick fart” turned out to be the previous night’s dinner in my pants. Needless to say Im very wary of farting. #ragrets
5.) Any time spent at Disney #ragretsXamillion
Out of all of those examples (And there are many, many more….Like the one time I decided to wear sweat pants to high school….) I think there is one that stands out above all of the rest…
Spending the majority of my life wondering what people thought of me. #yougetthepoint
But not just that because if they were not approving I’d do my best to make them happy with me. I still do the same today. The only thing I can remember most about my childhood is always wanting to make my dad feel proud of me. I wanted to be the best I could be in every area. I never wanted to make a mistake. You see, the thing about me is that I’m no where near perfect. When those moments of imperfection struck (and I found myself in the disciplining hands of my father or mother) I would tie myself up to the flogging pole and beat the mess out of myself. Unfortunately, I still do the same thing today. Now don’t misread me here. I don’t have familial issues or any bent up frustration towards my upbringing. My parents are two of the best people in the world (if not the best). It’s just been my personality to want to be perfect.
This desire to be emaculate has emanated into my adult years. Unfortunately, my desire for perfection in myself has translated into my desire for other people to be the same. So basically when someone hurts me it’s game over. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never wronged me…when my trust is broken it’s broken. I’ve since begun to work on it but it still happens. Desiring to be perfect in the eyes of people is such a burden to bear. It’s the weight of the world times seven billion. In my young and relatively unexperienced age I’ve come to the point where it simply doesn’t matter anymore.
I’m never going to be perfect so why bother? I’m never going to make everyone happy so why try? The best thing I can do is be myself and strive everyday to become the man that God is molding me into. I can’t control other people. I am only responsible for myself. Maybe thats why I’m so determined to be good? It all comes down to my perception of God and understanding of how He sees me. You see, if I were God I would never love me. I don’t deserve it and time after I time I spit in His face. Who would want to love someone like that? Apparently God does and I couldn’t be more grateful.
So yes, there have been times in my life that I wish were different (Like that one time I tried to go on my first date and the girl invited my sister to come….and apparently all of her other friends too) but what good would my life be if I didn’t have moments to laugh about and learn from? So I guess you could say that the lady with the tattoo in the concession line had something going for her…Although I would have to say that she was only partially right. Life holds many regrets but a lesson is learned when you do something about it.
P.S.- The slushee machine wasn’t ready so I had to go with the popcorn and regular drink. Who likes regular, boring drinks when you can have a slushee? Not this guy. #Ragrets