Confessions of a Son: Part II

To my mother,

The best way I can portray who you are is by telling you what I know a woman should be because of your testimony as my mother. 

When you and Dad first had me you were incredibly young. You were fresh into your twenties, fresh into your marriage, and boldly taking a step forward in your new journey. Twelve months later you had me. Now, I don’t know what times were like back then with newly married couples. I don’t know if they immediately wanted children or if they wanted to experience life together before having a kid. If newlyweds of those times were anything like today then what y’all did would be labeled insane (Not that you had an incredible amount of control over the situation but…yeah…). It’s normal to want kids but lately it seems that people are prolonging such a thing because of the responsibilities raising a child brings. Sure, it’s difficult at any time to have a child but I’m sure that it’s even more so when you’re only twenty years old. Did I mention that you had four of those toddler sized responsibilities by the time you hit 25 years old? I’m sure everyone around you thought you and dad were crazy but you found a way to pull it off. You sacrificed yourself, your time, and your heart for us. I know that we were more often than not a pain in your butt. We screamed, argued, ignored, pooped, puked, whined, and cried far more than any child should but none of that wavered your love. You saw us as a worthy investment when so many people in the world today view children as a burden unworthy of attention and life. If there is anything I have learned of what a woman should be it is this…She is selfless and full of unwavering love.

I’ve always been a worry wart. Any slight cough, mild pain in my tummy, or ache in my bones would prompt me to believe that I had a horrid disease that would lead me to my death. Most of my troubles were due to stress and over-eating but you were always there to calm my fears. You haven’t always had every answer to every problem but I guarantee you that it seemed like you did. Any struggle, fight, or heartache I would come across would be quickly combated by a calm and supportive word from you. Even when I messed up (sometimes big time) you were there to assure me of the available grace, peace, and forgiveness of God. You’ve always had my best intentions in your heart and that has shown through your actions. I was (and am) always comforted that any girl who breaks my heart can (and should) expect to receive the wrath of momma bear. A perfect woman protects and comforts that which is hers. She sees the value in restoring peace to a hectic world. You have been the calm to my storms.

Along with being a hypochondriac I grew up being a high strung mess. I always needed to know what we were doing that day, the next day, the day after that, and the month following. My days needed to be planned and some sort of control had to be placed within my hands. I literally developed nervous ticks and habits because of the indelible stress I placed on my life. Not only were you the peace in my storm but you were patient with me. I’m sure I drove you up the wall on so many different occasions but I hardly remember ever seeing it. I know that I broke your heart growing up. I know I did and said things that turned your soul over but you never changed your love and patience towards me. You showed me a picture of God because regardless of how much of a stinker I could and can be, you remain faithful. You were quick to forgive, quick to forget, and ready to see me succeed. How could I ever ask for anything else in a Mom or a woman?

The hardest thing in life is the truth. There’s nothing more humbling, brash, and real than the truth. You were never shy to present to me the cold hard facts of life. It hurt and I never wanted to hear it but looking back I see that it was the best thing I could have had. It’s not easy to hear that I’m wrong. It’s not easy to hear that I need to forgive someone who rightly deserves my hatred. It’s not easy to grow up in a world full of fakers with so few real people around. You were one of the few real people in my life. The only reason the truth didn’t destroy me is because I knew it was coming from a loving, selfless, and patient woman. I learned that if someone can’t tell me the truth then they don’t deserve to be in my life. No one is above the honest, loving truth. You also showed me how to do it with grace. That doesn’t mean I always handle it with grace but through your dealings with me I learned that love is central. Honesty is the best policy, right?

Last, but not least is this…You led me to the Lord when I was a kid. You were selfless and honest enough to show me that I was a sinner in need of God. You directed me towards the grace of God because of His sinless sacrifice on the cross. You told me that His power and victory over death could bring me a relationship with God and an eternity with Him. You were a tool that God used to bring me to Himself. I cannot say thank you enough for being an incredible testimony of God’s love to me and my sisters. I learned that a woman is one who seeks after God and points those she loves to Him.

These things are only a minor list of the many things I have garnered from you being my mom. You have set a bar for any woman that walks into my life. A bar that is set very high and only the right woman will be able to come close. Even then she will only be able to do that…Come close. I know that people say you marry someone a lot like your mother. Some may think that’s weird but I would be honored to have a wife that resembled your legacy. I wouldn’t know how to live life without you. Who would I call everyday for no reason other than to just hear your voice? You are my mother, my mom, momma, mommy. There is no way to ever express to you how much you mean to me.

I love you so much!

A Proud Momma’s Boy

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