Confessions

I honestly thought I’d never be able to say this but I’ve found the opportunity…

IT’S FRIDAY!

Actually, Friday is pretty much over and that means it’s the weekend! So, as you saw last Friday, today is the day for my top confessions! Basically I find something that happens in life and I give you my top ten thoughts on it! Last week I gave you ten reasons as to why I would make a great President (Read: Here). This week I’m going to give you my Top Ten Confessions on why I’m actually a ghost (I’ve been watching ghost adventures a lot lately)! So, without further adieu!

10.) I love scaring people!

Now, this is the most original and lame thought so I figured I’d get it out of the way. In all honesty though there’s nothing that brings a smile to my face more than making someone pee themselves in fear.

9.) I’m dark and mysterious

At least I like to think so.

8.) I love flickering lights

Once again, it’s the whole creepy factor. Nothing says “Something’s about to get you” like a couple of burnt out lightbulbs and Nosferatu at the switch.

7.) I don’t always feel seen

Insert ironic melodramatic reasoning here.

6.) Food goes right through me

If it were possible for a ghost to have IBS then I’d honestly fit right in here.

5.) People are always questioning my motives

Not a day goes by without someone asking me why I’m doing such and such this way or what was the thought process behind this and that…etc…I just feel bad for all the ghosts who are always being asked “Why are you here?” “Why won’t you free yourself?!”

4.) People are always running away and screaming when they see me

3.) I show up at the most inopportune times.

Like, oh, you’re busy? Making…a sandwich? Yeah bro, my bad. I’ll just do my little ghostly disappearing act.

2.) I’m currently trapped in a place that I do not belong

College.

And the number one reason why I think I’m a certified ghosty is….

1.) I love to think I can walk through walls!

But I then find out I can only walk into them. One time my friend tried to throw me through the floor and I only got a concussion.

Honestly, that may have been the lamest Top Ten I will ever do but it made me giggle this week (I needed it). With that said I hope you enjoyed at least a little bit of that…If not I’m going to haunt you this evening.

Have a great weekend!