My Road is Broken but Becoming Whole

Well my friends, the first week of my last college year has come to an end.

I’m exhausted.

I’m currently sitting in a group of about 15 freshman watching Pitch Perfect. It’s been a difficult transition into loving these kids but something clicked for me today.

I was once a freshman. I was once a bright eyed, clean shaven kid stepping into a big, brave world. I was boisterous, obnoxious, and looking for friends. I’m pretty sure that all of the older kids couldn’t stand my guts. I was one of them at one time in life.

Fast forward five years and I’m a senior desperate to be done. I tried fully embracing the grumpy grandpa role. I wanted so badly to feel justified in yelling at them for walking on my lawn. Something inside of me clicked though and made me realize that I couldn’t.

These kids have a future. They have dreams. They have somewhere they want to go in life. God has something incredible in store for them and for some reason our paths are crossing. Am I the savior to their life struggles? Most definitely not. Do I have a chance to invest in the future of this world and the church? Most definitely.

I realized today that these boisterous kids have incredible potential and value. I have a chance to be their friend and love them like Jesus. So why waste the last year of my life hating the existence of people who God calls me to love?

Forget that.

While I build relationships with these people I’ve been trying to answer a lot of questions about God. I’m sure you’re wondering “You’re a Bible College student, you should know everything.”

Uhm, wrong.

Here are some examples of my questions…

1.) Can I lose my salvation?

2.) Does going to church really matter?

3.) What’s difference between asking for forgiveness and abusing God’s grace?

4.) If I’m “free from sin” why do I still struggle?

Before you go thinking you need to answer those questions for me let me just say this. I’m in the process of answering them myself. These are things I absolutely have to answer for myself. As I go along I’ll be sure to keep you updated on what I find.

I hope your weeks are going along splendidly. If you’re having any issues and need someone to talk to, please, I’m here for you. As you can see, I have just as many questions as some of you.


9 Replies to “My Road is Broken but Becoming Whole”

  1. Question 4)

    Why, if I am free from sin, do I still struggle?

    My whole life I have been polite, tried hard, helped others, helped homeless, donated blood, saved s life, treated medical accidents, Smiled, cared for everyone, put others first, offered support and advice, been a listening ear, loyal, trustworthy, honest, non judgmental, accepted everyone’s differences, never smoked, never took drugs and so on…

    ….and yet I have bad luck after bad luck. Medical problem after medical problem, constant pain and tiredness, watched family around me become ill and die, working hours upon hours on minimal pay to support my family.

    I don’t ask for much, I’m not asking for money or a perfect life. Just to be able to sleep at night, and to have moments without pain.

    I question sometimes too. xx xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It seems you and I are kind of on the same journey. I know that our good works will never get us on the “good” side of God on there own. We are naturally sinful people. Ultimately God took the burden of our salvation on Himself when he sent Jesus to die in our place. He gave us a way to not have to work our way to Him. Life will always be hard and seem unfair but God is working these things for our good. Sounds crazy doesn’t it? My experience has shown me that He is very much in control and very much loves us even when it feels like He doesnt. I hope that helps in some way!

      Liked by 1 person

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