A Eulogy (For Myself)

I found myself inspired this evening;

Inspired to write my own eulogy.

Now for clarification sake I have no intention of dying anytime soon. I am not going to kill myself nor do I plan to be taken home by the Lord (doesn’t mean that the latter can’t happen). I went to a funeral for a 19 year old boy today and couldn’t help but begin to think. So without further adieu this what I would want you to know…

To Whom it May Concern,

If you are reading this it’s quite possible that I have ultimately met my fleshly end. I’m honestly not surprised because I had been told about this day my entire life. I knew that at one unexpected moment my final breath would pass and I would be ushered into eternity. Some of you may be sad, some of you may glad, but I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

It’s highly possible that my life takes a different road than I had imagined at the time of this writing. I don’t quite know if I will ever be a pastor, be a husband, or have children. I don’t know what kind of a man I will turn out to be. I hope I was decent? I can’t imagine having lived a life full of regrets.

With all of that said there are a few things I would like to say to those who mean the most to me. May I take a few moments of your earthly time?

To my wife (whomever you may be) I would like to say that I love you with an undying love. I hope that I have served you as Christ has served His church. I hope that I have been the best representation of Christ that an earthly man can be. I pray that I have left a legacy of love for you. I don’t want you to carry a burden on your shoulders with my passing, whether good or bad. I only want you to be able to look back on my memory and smile. You know me inside and out. You have loved me to the fullest and I can say that you are the best thing to ever happen to me on this earth. I waited for you for so long and the day you came was as if the heavens were opened. You have been an incredible blessing and I pray you continue on in the love of Christ.

To my son(s) and/or daughter(s) I want to tell you that I love you immensely. From an earthly standpoint I can say that I miss you with all of my heart. Maybe I still will in heaven? My longing for you has and will always be for you to walk in the footsteps of Jesus. I can only hope that I have been the best father and friend for you. I have loved you with every ounce of my being, imperfectly, but I have loved you nonetheless. I am sorry if I ever led you away from Christ with my attitude. I am sorry if I ever gave you the wrong impression of the church or God with my pessimism. I also hope that you can look back on our memories and smile. If you cannot rest assured that my soul is grieved. I don’t want you to be sad and I hope you can press on and live for Christ. He is all that matters.

To my Father, mother, brother, and sisters I want to say that I would never have asked for anyone else to live my life with. I never would want to say that I would have rather learned from anyone else other than you all. Dad, you’re my hero. I can only hope that I made you proud. Mom, you’re the bestest friend a man could ever have. Your love and selflessness has shown me what a real woman of God should be. I can only hope that I have made you proud as well. To my siblings I wish to say that y’all are a bunch of knuckleheads (LOL). I love you all so much and am so proud to have been able to be your big brother. I know I failed you many times but I can only wish that I made you proud and pointed you to Jesus. I love you all more than you can know. Don’t be sad, rejoice “For this is the day the Lord has made”.

I have tried to live my life to the utmost. I finally came to a point where regrets were something I could no longer live with. If I have ever hurt you and never apologized I will do it now. I’m sorry for not having been man enough to do it while I was alive. Please, forgive me.

If there is one thing I have learned in my life it is this; grudges aren’t worth it. Many a year did I spend hanging onto hatred and the only thing I garnered from such a thing is more hatred. I never found joy hanging on to my bitterness. Don’t live your life with regrets, hatred, or unforgiveness. It’s not worth it.

On a lighter note I will have to say that I hope heaven has a theme park; specifically Universal Studios. I also hope that Jesus has a few computers for me to build some theme parks on Rollercoaster tycoon. Actually, maybe in heaven I can just build a theme park by myself? How amazing would that be? Heaven is literally going to be one heck of a ride! If you get up here and need to find me just look for the rollercoasters and that’s where I’m sure to be.

One last thing…

Hold on to hope, hold on to Jesus, and let go of despair. Having suffered from depression in my lifetime I can say that the peace I am feeling now can never be compared. I am in the arms of Jesus and He is my utmost comfort. He wants you to know that He loves you and wants the best for you. Don’t give up on Him because He hasn’t given up on you.

With all of that said I wish you all a fair “see you later”. It’s been real, it’s been fun. It’s been real fun, folks.

Peace out home slices. I love you all.

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