Confessions

Dear Future Wife,

 

I realize that what I am about to do may be looked down upon by many other “men” in my society. I realize that I am being, at my utmost, vulnerable. Even though vulnerability is frowned on, you have been on my mind a lot lately. I also realize that this list is short, incomplete, and imperfect. Simply thinking of you makes my thoughts disappear because of joy. Please, bear with me. Without further putting it off, here’s my heart to yours.

Honestly, it’s about time you showed up. Or, was it I that showed up? Either way I could not be any happier to be able to say that we are finally together. There were many, many days that I found myself lost in my doubt; Most days I wondered if you even existed. I have to say that sometimes I got impatient. Sometimes I got a little ahead of myself and tried to make my life work in ways that God never intended. Even in my impatience the Lord proved Himself faithful to carry me to you. I want you to know a little bit about me. Shall we?

Above all else Im just as big of a nerd as the next Dr. Who fan (though I’ve never seen the show? Should I?) I sincerely hope that somewhere along the road you have garnered a love for classic movies like Jaws, Jurassic Park, or Back to the Future. These movies are a staple in my kingdom of nerdocity. I could spend hours diving into the vast wealth of information about these movies and I’d be just as happy as someone who just won the lottery. I also LOVE theme parks…specifically Universal Studios. Im sure you’ve realized by now my undying passion for all things theme park related…specifically Universal Studios…(See a trend here? Down with Disney!) I recognize that these things are strange, you may roll your eyes, but I know sooner or later you will realize that these things are just a small picture of the soul that God has given me.

I absolutely love sports. I’m a huge Detroit Tigers and Florida Gators fan. I recognize that not all people will be alike and that sports are typically a cause of divide but I promise that if you are a Yankee, Red Sock, White Sock, Indian, Seminole, Crimson Tide, or any other downright disgusting team’s fan I will still love you. It will be hard on days that our teams go head to head but I won’t let something like that come between us…Pillows may be thrown and food fights may happen but I guarantee you our marriage will be stronger than ever afterwards. If you happen to hate sports Im sincerely sorry for my undying efforts to get you to care. Remember in your frustration that you love me and all of my annoying quirks. 🙂

I also love the outdoors, specifically the mountains. I absolutely adore the vast amount of space that I can get lost in when I am in the mountains. Not a single leaf or rolling hill is the same…Each one full of adventure, peril, and something to be found. It is here where I find God and find myself closer to Him than I ever have been.

I’m looking to be a youth pastor. That that specific phrase has scared off more than enough women that I’ve come across in my life. I hope your love is unmoved. I sincerely believe God has called me to a life of ministry, discipleship, and giving my all to serve Jesus Christ. I was raised in a Pastor’s home and I am well aware of it’s horrendous difficulty. If you are afraid I don’t blame you; I am afraid too. If you’re unsure then rest in the fact that our God knows every detail of what He is doing. Amidst the difficulty I have seen some of the most amazing things that anyone could ever imagine happen in ministry. This is where lives our changed for eternity and we get to be a small part of affecting someone’s eternal destination. I find that this aspect makes it all worth it. Through all of this I will make a guaranteed promise to you…I will never allow ministry to take you or our family. You are my utmost priority and my utmost responsibility…I will not let it have you…You have my word.

Before I close out this letter I have to be brutally honest with you.

I am a sinful man.

Shocker, I know. I have to say that there will be many times where I fail you. I don’t mean to, in fact, it absolutely kills me to think that I will upset you, fail you, and sometimes isolate you. I absolutely despise the thought of ever hurting you. Believe me my heart is for you and I only want the best for you. I know in my failures I don’t always show it well but I promise you I do. I apologize here and now for every single wrong thing I will ever do. For every single time I didn’t listen to your stories of how your day went. I apologize for acting irrationally and jumping to conclusions. I promise you that I am always wanting to grow stronger, deeper, and wider in my relationship with God, as a man, and with you. I promise that I will never give up on you. I promise that I will be with you until the Lord takes us away. I will never leave your side and I pray you never leave mine.

I already love you.

I’m already praying for you.

I can’t wait to meet you.

I can’t wait to be with you….

Forever.

Sincerely,

Your goofy, nerdy, sometimes (mostly all the time) idiot of a future Husband