The Heart of a Wanderer and the Pain of Goodbyes


I suppose that you could label me a nomad. Maybe a wandering vagabond? Perhaps I’m simply restless?

I mentioned this a little bit in last night’s blog but I love travelling. I’m currently sitting in a restaurant that I never knew existed up until a few hours ago with my girlfriend. I came to visit her this weekend and I’m somewhere around three hours from home. I’ve never seen this small town but it’s fascinating.

The downside to having come out here this weekend is the quickly approaching moment where I tell the love of my life goodbye. It’s been a month since she left to come work for the summer and there are still six to seven weeks until she’s home for good. We went four weeks without being together and it has stretched and grown our relationship in ways that I have been praying for and in ways that I never imagined.

As beneficial as it may be, I hate saying goodbye. I hate having to leave her. It’s not anything that I’m not used to, though, saying goodbye. In fact, the majority of my teenage/adult years have been spent saying goodbye. I’ve lived in five states, visited twenty-five and have/had friends/family all over the world. Goodbyes are inevitable. Goodbyes are hard.

In some cases, though, as difficult as the goodbye was, it brought about a much more positive change than had I stayed put. Suffice it to say, saying goodbye was the better of the two options. Doing so presented opportunities to see new places, meet new people, experience new things, and ultimately become a better person.

Have you ever thought about saying goodbye to your pain? Stupid question but I’m being serious. Have you ever thought about saying goodbye to your pain?

Many of us wish to be able to let go of past failures or present hurts but so often we choose to allow those visitors to stick around. I can only imagine what may be going through your head. “Does he know what he’s talking about? Does he even know how desperately I wish to be free of this guilt, shame, and regret?”

Yes, I do.

I’ve spent many a day, week, month, and/or year(s) wallowing in my failures, my incompetence, and my pain. I swore that I would never be able to see the proverbial “light of day”. I was in a place of utter despair. I wanted relief but I didn’t want to let go of my anger.

I felt as if I was justified in allowing it to take up residence in my heart. I gave it a small living space at first but as time went on, it demanded more square feet. Convincing as it was, it slowly took over all of me. I can imagine that it’s doing the same with you.

Have you ever thought about saying goodbye to your pain?

Here’s my theory: If we continue to allow these things to live inside of us, we restrict our ability to go new places, meet new people, experience new things, and become a better person. If we don’t take the step to say goodbye, then how will we ever free ourselves from its grasp?

I mean, I could choose to stay with my girlfriend for the rest of the summer. She wouldn’t care. If I did that though, there would be consequences. I would probably lose my job and all of my other plans and commitments would falter. Choosing to stay may sound like a good option but is it best?

I don’t blame you for being angry, hurt, or despondent. I can’t imagine what you live with and have to go through on a daily basis. Are you looking for relief? Healing? Hope?

Say goodbye to your pain.

Embrace forgiveness. God forgives you. If you were the one who caused pain, then seek out forgiveness. Then, after all is said and done from an external standpoint, look deep inside and allow yourself to forgive you. Put down those chains and walk free from this cell. So often we’re too busy looking at how thick our shackles are that we don’t even realize that we have the key and that the door is wide open.

You will never be able to see new places, meet new people, experience new things, or become a better person if you don’t tell your pain goodbye. You may want to with all of your heart but if you never allow yourself to move on then don’t expect to move anywhere. I genuinely can’t stress this thought enough.

If you never let go then don’t expect to make any progress, whatsoever.

Take the time necessary to do some soul work and then tell those problems “Adios!” Kick them out of your heart. They’ve forced their way into a place of residency that isn’t theirs to take. Boot ‘em out of the door! Embrace forgiveness. Go travel (physically or mentally. Whatever floats your boat). Whatever it is, embrace the freedom that God gives through his grace and love for you. Be free. Wave goodbye and start a new adventure.

The world is yours for the taking.

Carpe Diem

4 Replies to “The Heart of a Wanderer and the Pain of Goodbyes”

  1. This is a timely post. Thank you for writing it. I have spent too much time focusing on the things my disabilities DON’T allow me to do, rather than the positives. I love nature photography and making jewelry. I am blessed to have one good friend. God will see me through as He has done.

    Liked by 1 person

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