Confessions

If you were forced to live in a library, museum, or zoo for the rest of your life, which would you choose and why?

Honestly, today is one of those days where such a question as above would seemingly strike my brain. What would I choose?

Honestly, there’s a world of opportunity found in each one and also a lot of questions? How big is the zoo? How many books are in said library? Does the museum come to life after sunset?

In order to come to a full conclusion, I need to be able to think through the pros and cons of each situation. Shall we?

Cons:

Library:

I love books. I don’t read as much as I should, or like, but I do love diving into a good book. That being said, I really don’t like libraries. Some people love them, find them cozy, but I find them yawn worthy. If I had to live in a library for the rest of my life I would become quickly bored and psychotic. I mean, if the book list were unending and I was always under the threat of being caught by the librarian, sure, I guess it’d be interesting enough. Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s how this scenario plays out.

Museum: 

I love a good museum. Nothing beats looking at wax figure representations of days gone by. Is that sarcasm? Meh. Kinda. Here’s the downside of a museum: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! I mean, seriously! The only way I’d ever choose to live in a museum for the rest of my life is if they all came to life at dusk. Sadly enough, that’s not happening…As far as I’m aware.

Zoo:

The only thing that gets me about zoos is the fact that you literally walk around all day watching animals do their “thang”. When I say “thang”, I mean, poop, eat and sleep. I mean, people found zoos so boring that they had to throw a little kid in the gorilla pen just to get a little action!….

Too soon?

Pros:

Library:

Here’s the upside to living in a proverbial retirement home for author’s hopes and dreams: You get to immerse yourself in their fantasies! Which is all well and good until you realize that you’re stuck in this wasteland of forgotten dreams trying to live out your failed dreams through other people. Yeah, Nah. I’m going to have to kick “library” option to the curb.

Museum:

I love museums because of history. I’m also a genuine lover of history. My heart would definitely be at home here for a little while. Sooner or later I’d realize that while these people were notable due to their contribution to history, I’d only be wasting my opportunity to make it myself. Sorry, the museum’s a no-go.

Zoo:

Besides having to deal with the perpetual stench of feces and body odor (not much of a far cry from living around humans), living in a zoo would never get boring. I’d go all Dr. Doolittle and learn how to speak their language. Once I learned all of their languages I’d start spreading rumors about what a certain species of animal said about another and then watch the glorious wrath of nature exact itself in front of my eyes.

Or I’d just ride a Zebra into battle and die a heroic death. 

Oh, heck yeah. I’m living in a zoo!

What would you choose?