Confessions

Inspirational t-shirts are back and they’re…inspirational.

“Physically, I’m here. Mentally, I’m in a galaxy far, far away.”

I’ve never seen/read such truer words.

“Fluent in sarcasm”

Are you? Or are you just being sarcastic?…..OH. I see what you did there.

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If those didn’t inspire you, you must be having a pretty rough day. If that is the case, I’m deeply sorry. I wish I had something more inspirational but, unfortunately, I’m feeling extremely lethargic myself.

I’ve pulled a 13-hour shift today. Between driving to and from fairs, as well as working the fairs, I’ve not found much time to actually breathe.

In fact, I haven’t had much time to breathe in almost a month.

I spent last week back in town and at the office but I rarely sat down to relax. I needed to catch up on office work but there were too many other duties calling my name. I wanted to see all of my friends and hang out with them as well, so that’s what I chose to do.

I’m not complaining about any of this, by the way. Outside of dealing with the obvious grief, I genuinely enjoyed being home and seeing all of the people that I love.

I’m genuinely tired, though.

I slept better last week, being home and all. Despite this, I’m apparently still very tense and anxious in my sleep. I’ve noticed that my jaw has started popping in and out of place. It’s done this before, usually when I’m stressed, but this time, it is worse. Opening my mouth to talk, sing, or chew is accompanied by multiple pops. No pain, thankfully, but it’s quite uncomfortable. I need to relax. I’m having a hard time doing so as you can tell.

My physical health is wavering. I’ve felt it creeping up on me. You know the feeling that you get? The one where you know that you’re getting sick? Mhm. I’ve felt it in my head, my throat, and I feel it today in my legs. Strange, yes, but I suppose the only adjective I can use is “weak.”

I’m traveling again this week. I’m all over the coast and as far west as Atlanta. I believe that I’m driving somewhere around 1,000 miles in five days. Next week is no better but fortunately, all of the weeks after that reduce in their hectic nature. I just need to make it through.

I’ve been praying for God to challenge me and grow me. I don’t want to waste the opportunity to be tired and practice leaning into God. I know that He knows where I am. I know that He knows what’s on my mind. He knows that my body is tired. He knows that I need rest. I’m just praying that He gives me what I need.

With that said, I need sleep. I hope your Monday has been a little bit clearer and that you sleep well.

**sidenote** There is a push-up challenge going around on Facebook in an effort to raise awareness for the 22 military members/veterans who commit suicide every day. I was nominated to begin my 22 days and if you’re open to being nominated, comment down below and add me on Facebook. Here’s the link to my video: Video

Catch you on the flippity flop.