I honestly feel like this week has been full of “real” confessions and I’m about to add one more. This time, though, I come to you full of regret and humility.
I’ve been in a car for the last seven hours waiting for the moment that I could pull out my laptop and pen this letter to you all. That’s how anxious I’ve been to clear the air between us all.
Earlier this week I wrote a few blog posts that were very strongly worded and incredibly passionate. You cannot find them now, as I’ve taken them off of my site, but they were brutally personal and honest. So much so that I have offended some and wrongly called a broad audience on the floor for something they were not guilty of.
In these posts, I allowed my frustration and anger to fuel me. With that, I painted a broad picture that anyone on Facebook that didn’t take the time to read my blog was “ignorant.” I insinuated that, because they didn’t pay attention to my blog, they weren’t doing anything worthwhile with their lives and were damaging the cause of mental health awareness.
If you are reading this and happened to have been offended by those posts, I am here to express my deepest apologies and to ask you for forgiveness.
I was confronted with the nature of these posts and instantly realized that what I had done was wrong. I operated out of a lack of self-control and tact. I was a fool and was only thinking of myself.
Please, please forgive me?
The majority of today has been spent coming face to face with my sin. I’ve made a lot of mistakes this week and in the process, I’ve caused some problems. I cannot express to you how deeply my heart has been grieved by this.
I am the farthest thing from a perfect man. I am often ruled by my emotions and often find myself saying exactly what’s on my mind with no regard to how it may affect others. To be quite honest, I can be a fool.
I am learning every day what it means to be a man of God. I know that God does not see me for my sin, but rather, He sees Jesus in place of my sin. Jesus took care of my mistakes on the cross and he defeated the consequence of them. There is always forgiveness offered for me and for you when we fail.
And fail, we do. I do so on a daily basis and I need to be humbled on a daily basis. I’ve been called to be obedient to what God says. I’ve been called to conform myself to the image of Christ: selfless, holy, kind, patient, merciful, gentle, etc…Jesus knows that we can’t do it ourselves and that’s why we have Him. That’s why we need His forgiveness when we mess up.
So His forgiveness, and yours is what I seek. I am fully trusting that Christ has forgiven me and is working in my life to use this situation to grow me. It has certainly brought me down low and I can only ask that each of you forgive me as well.
For my facebook readers, I’m sorry if I called into question your ministry and made it seem as if I was degrading it. You are valuable and you are being used by God. Please don’t let a foolish man’s rant keep you from pursuing the Lord. I am so sorry.
For my WordPress friends, I’m sorry for not being a better example of what a Christian should be. I abused the power of this blog and used it for my own selfish gain. No safe place or refuge is full of unbridled ranting and anger. I hope and pray that I did not cast a bad image of Christ on you. Please, forgive me?
I promise, in the future, to be more restrained with how I present the issues I am facing. This has been something that has been at the forefront of my brain but I am obviously still trying to get it through my head and to my heart. There’s no reason for me to ever lash out at people or to call into question their motives.
Thank you all for your patience, love, and kindness as I continue to learn, grow, and seek the Lord as a foolish, naive 23-year-old.
You are loved.
You are valued.