Life is a journey. It’s a singular path composed of hills, valleys, storms, droughts, life, and death. The journey, although destined for an end, is primarily defined by the process of finding who you are.
Here at Confessions, we’re all about the journey. We are invested in allowing those who pass through here to find who they are. There is hope in community. There is peace in God.
Today, our fifth entry comes at the hands of my youngest sister. She is twenty years old and currently studying to be an elementary teacher. She has an incredible heart for God and for people. She plays the piano, has a beautiful voice, and is introspective at her core. She is in the process of finding who she is as you and I are.
We hope you are encouraged and blessed by her story.
I met this girl once. She was bright and full of life. She believed that being herself was the best thing. Her smile was real and she was confident in her own humble way. She had such bright plans with bright thoughts. Until one day she wandered into an unknown land. She wandered on a path and allowed Satan to take over her mind. No longer did she see a smile that was bright but one that was fake, broken even. The reflection in the mirror didn’t match who she used to be. Every moment that passed, she wondered how she could get back to that girl she was before. No longer did the sun shine. No longer did she understand why she couldn’t move on with her life. She understood what she needed to do but she never moved.
Darkness surrounded her. After a time, she started to give up. Death circulated through her mind; it seemed so much more peaceful than her life could ever be. Nights became a time when she would lay in a river of her tears. Mornings became a time to dread. She would wake up feeling like she had been fighting, drug down and weary. When she was surrounded by people she felt the loneliest. But when she was alone she could be herself. She stood on this road thinking it was a dead end.
“There’s no way out.” she’d think.
Everyone around her seemed to be great, happy and content with life. She consistently wondered why she was being put through fire. At the end of her rope, she cried out for the last time. She cried out to Jesus saying that she couldn’t do it anymore. The weight was too heavy to bear. Her eyes just wanted some light. Her legs were giving up and her heart yearned to stop beating.
There was a night when a slight whisper showed up on her broken road.
This whisper was followed by weeping. This man was crying and each time he repeated this phrase it got louder and louder.
“You’ve been fighting for too long..”
Her eyes shifted back and forth looking for the man who had been calling for her. While standing there, she looked at her hands and realized her heart was in shreds. Slowly, she tried to start stitching her heart back together her way.
“Open your eyes and realize I’ve been holding out my hand…”
Each stitch got harder and soon enough her shreds became smaller and smaller. They slipped through her hands and she landed on her knees; frantically searching for the slivers, she wondered how she would ever find the pieces and put them back together again.
“…but you won’t let me in.”
She sat on the cold ground weeping. She heard the rustling of leaves behind her. As she turned around, she saw the silhouette of a man. He had been crying too. She realized it was him. The man who was calling for someone to wake up. She looked up and asked who he was. He replied with a response she didn’t expect to hear. He said that he was Jesus. The man who she thought had given up on her had been chasing after her for months. The man she thought found someone else to do his work was crying out for her to come home. All at once, she put her face to the ground and allowed light to enter her life once again. She sat there and held out her cracked and broken hands.
He lifted her up, pulled her into an embrace and whispered into her ear, “Welcome home love.”
You may be hurting. You may feel like death sounds more peaceful. You may feel alone in a world filled with people. I need to be honest with you. Your brokenness doesn’t have to define who you are. Your heart may be in shreds, but your legs are not broken. You can move forward. Yes, it’s going to take time to heal. So. Much. Time. You’re never alone. Oh, how I know that you have heard that phrase so much that it carries no meaning. I repeat it because I never believed it. This girl I met is still broken, but she is slowly moving toward being whole again. She understands, now, that it may take Jesus the rest of her life to heal her brokenness. Can I share with you a secret? That girl I met? Yeah, that girl is me.
Thank you for joining us this week. Make sure you like, comment, share, or subscribe if you liked the article. Let us know if you’d like to contribute to the Finding Who We Are series! Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
You are loved.
You are valued.