I’ve been walking on and off of crutches for a week.
I seemed to have reached that age where I’m no longer as young as I want to be. Sure, I’m only twenty-four, but I have bad legs.
When I was in middle school, a friend was chasing me and I inadvertently tripped over a metal chair. In the process, I flipped over said chair, and my kneecap swelled up to three times its size. The impact of the chair tore a ligament and blood coagulated underneath my kneecap. Needless to say, I’ve not been able to walk the same on my left knee since then.
In high school, I was mopping a floor at work and slipped. My right knee, instead of kicking out into the air, got stuck underneath me and my full body weight collapsed on it. I either hyperextended my knee or I tore a ligament.
Suffice it to say, my legs are bad. I’m constantly fighting pain.
5 days ago, I found myself chilling on the couch, minding my own business. A buddy of mine, who is always provoking me to wrestle him, started to initiate a brawl. In good fun, I tapped him on the face. He then proceeded to leap over his chair, onto my lap, and began to fight me.
I’m a pretty big guy. Not huge, but compared to him, I’m a monster. It didn’t take much for me to put him in a chokehold and keep him there. After five minutes of struggling, he still could not escape and was not willing to tap out.
I tried to let him up because I didn’t feel like choking him out or killing him. As I did, I positioned myself on the edge of the couch with my right knee touching the ground. I thought that the fight was over. I won.
Far from over.
Before I could react, he “Sparta-kicked” me off of the couch.
As I fell, I felt my right knee bend in an uncomfortable way and then I felt it. I also heard it.
Oh, the pain.
To make a long story shorter, I’m pretty sure that I sprained my LCL (Lateral Collateral Ligament). It wasn’t a severe sprain, as there has been no swelling or bruising. However, it hurts like the dickens.
Yes, I said “the dickens.”
So, I’ve been walking with crutches and a brace. Contrary to my title, I have not yet had my leg amputated. I’ve been avoiding the doctor because I can’t afford it, but if it doesn’t get better, I will have no choice.
Mentally speaking, I’m doing better than I have in a long time. I haven’t had any depressive episodes so far as I can remember. There have been days that have been more solemn, but 2017 has been kind to my brain so far.
In other news, you can now find Confessions through our own domain name! Yep, that’s right. I now own the website. Our new URL is http://www.findingwhoweare.com.
Finding a domain name can be hard, but I wanted it to represent who we are as a community and what we’re trying to accomplish. Ultimately, I settled on the long-running, highly successful series that I’ve been hosting called, Finding Who We Are.
It epitomizes our journey through life, especially those of us with Mental Disorders. It’s learning to appreciate the journey while we wait to arrive at our destination.
Speaking of, I need you! I want the world to hear you story. I want the world to know hope because of where you have been. You’re alive today, and that means you’re a survivor! Would you consider contributing to the series? If so, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I hope you all are having a great weekend. Make sure that you join me tomorrow night as I confess something that I’ve never talked about before. It’s been on my brain for months, and it may even surprise you. Tomorrow night, 8 pm EST. 🙂
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