Confessions

Before I begin expressing my thoughts, I want to clarify matters and my intentions. I write to you understanding that the Coronavirus can be a dangerous disease and has taken countless lives. To those who have tragically lost loved ones and find yourself reading this, I express my deepest condolences to you. I hope and pray you find peace during this tragic period in your life.

Secondly, I am not a medical professional. None of my thoughts below are meant to be taken as a social commentary on whether this disease is not as bad as some say it is, or to give medical advice, etc…

What I wish to ponder in this post is “why?”

Why has this disease taken the world, and because of my context, America, by storm? I don’t speak of contagion. I’m referencing this storm of paralyzing, chaotic fear that has perpetuated every conversation, media outlet, and shopping venue.

Allow me to reiterate: the risk of death is serious and should not be taken lightly. We face the risk of death every day, though. Why is something similar to a severe cold the catalyst to throwing our entire economy into chaos?

The stock market is plunging and grocery aisles lay vacant of supplies. I saw a video today of people sprinting through their local Costco in order to be the first to stockpile on toilet paper.

Toilet paper?

Does anyone else see the relative ridiculousness that I’m observing? Am I the only one baffled by the response of those in our country?

I ask you, my friends, why? Why has this particular event grabbed our hearts, tugged at our worst fears, and thrown us into utter panic?

Is it because we, as an American society, find ourselves largely untouched by the relative horrors other countries face on a daily basis? Is it because we feel our tiny kingdoms are at risk? That at any moment what we’ve spent our entire lives building could come crashing down?

Is it because we live with this false confidence and this false sense of control that we feel this threat now stands to expose? Are we afraid that we may be seen as human, frail and weak? That we don’t control what we thought we controlled?

Is it because we don’t know what happens beyond the eclipse of death and we can’t stand to fathom our inability to have an answer? If we don’t have an answer, perhaps we fall into our primal instinct to protect what’s ours…to protect our pride…to protect those we love…to protect ourselves.

I fear that we have fallen so far into the pit of our own insecurity and pride that we’ve become blinded to the fact that we don’t control anything. I’m afraid that, as this cultural phenomenon unravels, we are being forced to come to grips with what we truly are not, and that is god.

It is my opinion that we’ve become accustomed to playing god in our own lives. When something comes along, no matter how small or large the event, we have the tendency to wrap our hands around the throat of what threatens our facade. Many of us would not admit to this. Even if we did, we may disguise it as protecting those around us from the harsh calamities of the world around us. However, I would ask if it’s truly them you’re trying to protect and not your own sense of pride/control/trust/security/stability/wealth/etc…

This may come across heavy handed but I feel as though we are being faced with a reality we spend our entire lives trying to avoid. This reality is one in which we are not in control, we are not our own gods, and now we must figure out what we must do and to whom we must turn to.

I write this as a challenge and an encouragement. A challenge to look at your own reactions, thoughts, and general feelings towards what’s going on and evaluate. Perhaps this virus doesn’t bother you, but what is it that triggers your instinctive nature to protect? I’d challenge you to look deeper into yourself and use this as an opportunity to grow personally and learn more about yourself.

I write it as an encouragement to engage in conversation with me. I would love to hear why we have become so enraptured with fear in this time. Do you agree with my thoughts above? Do you disagree? Please leave a comment below and let’s talk. None of what I said is meant to be taken as gospel, but I do mean for it to provoke thoughts on the deeper essence of man and our natural instincts when faced with external threats. Even if you disagree with me, humor me on a few of my thoughts. Could we be controlled by the fear of exposure? Controlled by the fear of a wave knocking out our sandcastle kingdom?

While you ponder your response, take time to breathe. Turn the news off. Take cautionary measures to do what’s necessary to stay healthy. In the end, calm down and understand your life is not yours to control. Your life is not in your hands. It will all be ok.

See you in the comments.

You are loved.

You are valued.