Confessions

I believe that I’ve stumbled across a fundamental problem within Christianity. It’s one that has literally caused me to stop and catch my breath. It’s one that still has me in thought. Thinking what I’m thinking flies in the face of all that I’ve grown up with. I’ve been a Christian for almost seven years. I was born and raised in a Christian home. How can I think this? What am I about to do?

I’ve worshipped a god that doesn’t even exist.

You thought that the title was click-bait didn’t you? Far from it. In recent days I’ve discovered stumbled upon this thought: What if the God myself and so many other Christians “worship” doesn’t even exist? What if we’ve been worshipping the wrong one? If so, do I still believe in a God? Am I going to be an outcast for the rest of my life? To my Christian friends, don’t label me an atheist just yet. To my non-Christian friends, think through this with me and let me know what you think.

I’ve been struggling with the thought process of fitting into the many different ideologies that many different people have. We all have our own version of what life should be and what it should look like. We all have our own separate dreams and wishes for what and how we wish our lives to go. These presuppositions and assumptions mold our approach to life and our way of thinking. We act, think, and feel as if our dreams were reality. We work towards them. We pour our sweat, blood, and tears into the very product of our livelihood. This is what I like to call our very own, personal “cookie cutter” mold.

Each cookie cutter is different. They form different shapes, have different sizes, and are utilized in different ways. What is a cookie cutter used for? Well, cutting cookies of course! With that thought let’s assume that the cookie dough is life. We all start out with our own cookie cutter and we set off to shape the dough to fit our specific mold. When we’ve run out of space what do we do? Well, place our idealistic cookies on a tray and bake ‘em! We finalize them and harden them with the oven of opinion and experience. When those are done we grab a new chunk of “life” and start over. What do we do with the pieces that weren’t good enough to go on the tray? Where do they go? We discard them; throw them in the trash. We get rid of the things that we don’t like and the things that didn’t make the final cut. Do you see where I’m going with this? No? Keep reading.

This specific motif of cookie cutting applies to all areas of life. We all have presuppositions based on our upbringing, our experiences, and our current circumstances. Our worldview shapes our perspective. We cookie cut in our relationships, in our jobs, in our marriages, and in our pursuit of religion (or lack thereof). This is a natural way of life. It’s our instinct. How else would we determine truth and danger? In order for us to survive we have to cookie cut, right?

What does all of this have to do with God?

I believe that so many of today’s “Christians” have created a cookie-cutter god based off of their experiences, circumstances, and feelings and then named Him “Jesus”.

Here’s a more concise way of saying it: I believe that most “Christians” today aren’t even “Christians” because they don’t know the true God they’re supposed to be worshipping.

It seems as though we’ve taken the God of the Bible, studied Him, and built a shell of what we think He should be. We’ve cast our cookie cutter mold in to the structure of the Word of God and created a personally appropriate version of God for ourselves. Some say that God is a crutch but I say that this thinking is representative of their personal mold of God. Others say that God isn’t capable of sending people to hell but I say that this is indicative of their specific cookie cutter. Most say that God is sovereign, holy, and loving but live their life as if that truth never entered into their ears. So many people claim to know God but do those people know the very God that they’re claiming? This begs my question: Does the God so many Christians claim to serve even exist or have we created our own robot and named it Jesus?

I’m not denouncing God. I’m not saying that I don’t believe in Jesus and that everything I’ve lived for is a lie. What I am saying is that I fully believe that there’s something someone so much greater, so much stronger, so much higher than my feeble mind can even comprehend. There’s more to it than just going to church, putting on my “Christian face”, and then leaving. There’s something more visceral and appealing than trying to say all of the right things, trying not to swear, and refraining from the bad things of life. Is Jesus who He really says He is? If so, why aren’t more people living for Him? Where have we gone wrong? Why is it that the Church just isn’t what it should be? I can’t fathom the thought of living another day in this kind of cookie cutter Christianity serving an idol named “Jesus” who we’ve made with our own mold of life.

The real Jesus is out there and He is exactly who the Bible says He is. I’m tired of apathetically falling in line with whatever the new trend of Jesus is. I want to seek His face. I want to follow Him regardless of the difficulty. I want to trust Him despite knowing it won’t provide momentary bliss. I’m putting aside my pleasure, my profit, and my perspective to rediscover the God that I believe exists.

I’m throwing my cookie cutter out of the kitchen window. I’m throwing away the burnt batch of cookies. I’m setting out to find the real Jesus apart from my presuppositions, apart from my assumptions about who I think Jesus should be, and apart from the generic, boring version of God that so many Christians “worship” today.

There are those out there, like me, who are pursuing the real Jesus. I want this to encourage them that they are not alone. I also want this to serve as a plea for those who have fallen into the cookie cutter mindset. I wish that you would set aside your assumptions and take this journey with me. The God of the Bible does not and cannot fit into your own personal “box”. He is an entity more profound than the deepest philosopher, more powerful than the raging sea, and more loving than you or I could ever dream.

My hope is to write and share with you my findings, the things we’ve gotten right, and the things that I feel we’ve gotten wrong as Christians. This won’t just be a journey for Christian folk, though. If you have your questions, doubts, or disparities with the God of the Bible I want you to come with me too. Can we take an honest, thoughtful look in to the Bible? Can we try and find the real Jesus together?

I’m done worshipping a cookie cutter God.

Will you journey with me?

Will you search for the real Jesus with me?

Or will you settle for the idol that you’ve created in your heart?

Feel free to leave a comment down below with any and all questions, comments, or concerns. Let’s start digging through this right now. Be sure to follow Confessions to keep up with it all! Thank you so much for reading.